


SouthShit

by InfectedOrcas



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, College, Drug Use, Eric Cartman Being An Asshole, I will add tags later, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Multi, OOC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22836502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfectedOrcas/pseuds/InfectedOrcas
Summary: Oh fuck! This is an aged up au, with my own personal head canons!It is also interactive? so you can vote on who the next chap with be about!
Relationships: Clyde Donovan/Bebe Stevens, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kenny McCormick/Craig Tucker, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Dumb Party

Follow Kyle

Kyle walks into an open room filled with people. Most of them are either drunk, high or both. Something every normal for a South Park party. Kyle, on the other hand, doesn’t like going to these events and is only here to pick up Stan. He feels a bit uneasy as he walks towards one of the only sane people at this party, Token. He is sitting on a stool on an island in the middle of the kitchen.”Hey Token!” Kyle yells loudly to be heard over the music.

“Oh, Kyle? I thought you weren't coming?”

“Stan called to pick him up! So I’m here” Kyle shrugs and looks away at the ocean of people, then gets a little worried about not seeing his boyfriend or Clyde. He gets a feeling something is wrong with Token and Clyde.

“You seem a little off dude what's up?”

“Don’t get me started! Clyde thinks we need to stop talking when Bebe is in the same room as us. And whenever she comes within eyesight of him, he ditches me! no matter what we are doing! I got here at 7 right? And it is 4! He hasn’t said a single word to me!” he explains with an agitated tone to his voice.

“… like at all? Has he even glanced at you?”

“I keep looking at them but he has not made eye contact yet!” He nudges his head toward the couch where Bebe and Clyde can be seen snuggling together.

“Do you need me to beat the shit out of him for you? Because I can do that. I do it Cartman all the time!” He deadpanned.

“The last thing I want is him to cry right now, but I will keep that offer in mind for later!”

“Deal! Anyway, you know where my blue bitch is?”

“last time I saw him was out by the pool!”

“Thanks!” And with that Kyle was off to find his dumbass boyfriend. Walking through the tons of people was really hard, to say the least. But he can see over most people in the sea. So he wasn’t drowning. As he gets to the open glass doors he stands there for a bit trying to regain himself. He sighs loud-

“Kyleeee babeeeeeeeeeee!!!” Stan yelling from the distance hot tub.

“Oh for fuck sake if he gets his clothes wet I am going to drownd him” Kyle whispers to himself as he gets closer to the hot tub.

“ .. oh my god are you all fucking naked?” Kyle raises his eyebrows as he sees his boyfriend and 2 of his friends naked in the hot tub. Kyle has had enough shit already and he is not happy. Stan, on the other hand, is having a wonderful time as he giggles happily that his Kyle is here.

“And high!” Craig explains with a big grin on his face. Beside him is a very happy Kenny as he nods aggressively to agree with Craig. 

“I am drunk and high! Does that make me double fun!?” Stan screams loudly splashing around like a baby in the water. Kyle’s shoes get wet as an outcome.

“No that makes you a pain in the ass to deal with, and I am strongly thinking about leaving you here!” Kyle admits. Rustling can be heard from behind him. He gets an overwhelming feeling that something bad is going to happen.

“Stan we need to lea-”

“I would love to tap that ass, Kyle!” Cartman interrupts loudly from the other side of the long pool behind Kyle. Kyle responds with a long groin. Cartman’s feet can be heard slapping on the concrete as he walks over to stand next to Kyle.

“I’m like look at this thing! So round and juicy!”

“You take a step closer and I am going to hurt you!” Kyle tells him in an upset voice. Cartman being himself takes this as a free card and grabs his ass. Kyle being Kyle punches Cartman square in the face making him fall in the long pool. Kyle’s adrenaline running high he takes this moment to tell his bf “If you are not in my car by ten minutes you are staying here for the night!”

“Fuck! ok!” Stan responds scaredly and scrambles to remember where he put his clothes.

“Can you take me home Kyle!?” Craig askes before Kyle disappears into the house.

“I don’t care!!” Kyle responds still upset.

8 Minutes later

Kyle is sitting angrily in his car waiting for these two dumb asses to get in so he can go relax at home. Stan, as best he can and tries to get into the passenger seat next to Kyle. Stumbling with the door and needing Kyle to help with his seatbelt. Craig sitting in the seat behind Kyle not caring to put the seatbelt on. Kyle drives off the property and towards the apartment complexes on the other side of town.

“You know where I live, right?”

“Yeah yeah. Dude, you seem happier when you are high.”

“Nah, I just took some new shit that Babe bet me to take. 100 dollars babeee!”

“You Mr.Tucker took a drug that wasn’t weed?”

“Pfft, I’ve had worse!”

“That being?”

Craig hesitantly answers “... Crack”.

Kyle pulls over and stops the car on the side of the road. He turns his body around so that he is facing Craig dramatically.

“You What!”

“Oh My God! It was one timeee!!”

“…. It better have been. Does Tweek know about this?”

“Yeah he knows,” Craig says as he can feel himself coming back to reality a little bit. Instantly regretting what he just told Kyle. But keeps a dead expression to feel out this persona.

“Aannnddddddd?!”

“He doesn’t really care dude. Not a big deal!”

“Since when does Tweek not care?” Kyle asks with the biggest look of concern on his face. Craig gets dismissive and responds with 

“He just doesn’t ok! Just go back to driving please!”

“Wow, whatever!” Kyle replays turning around and continues to drive to Craig’s apartment.


	2. Home Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle Brings home his mess of a boyfriend and gets a call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo sorry for like dipping for a month? This was meant to be done like a week after the first update. Sorry for the wait omg I wanna slap myself lol.  
> anyway, have fun.

Go with Kyle

The car ride back home from Craig’s was annoying to say the least. The car was filled with mumbling and giggles from Stan, who was singing along to the radio. Kyle mostly ignores his intoxicated boyfriend until he gets his attention to ask a question. “Kyle are you mad at me?”

The question wasn’t anything out of normal coming from Stan. He has a habit of thinking that everyone is not happy with him. When in reality he is one of the only people in South Park that everyone just wants to be around. Just remembering how everyone just makes him so happy, makes Kyle face soften into a smile. “I could never be mad at you. You know that dude.” 

Stan happily responds with giggles. He continues to sing all the way home. Kyle helps His boyfriend with his seatbelt again. He is capable of walking into their apartment. He tipped twice on the stairs and only used Kyle's help once on the way up. Kyle sleepily fiddles with the keys and opens the door to their apartment. Kyle sighs heavily being relieved that they made it back in one piece. Last year’s senior graduation party did not end well. Waking up with your boyfriend and all your friends, passed out in Token's living room, was not the best way to celebrate. Needless to say he didn’t get dragged into doing anything again. 

Stan makes his way to the bathroom in record time to let out everything he has been holding all night. Loud vomiting breaks Kyle’s thoughts once again tonight. All he wanted to do is get Stan, Come home, and continue writing his book. Mind you he is still not close to where his deadline needs to be this month. He has been procrastinating all month to hang out with Kenny, Clyde and Wednesday on their secret project. Whatever, not the point. Kyle grabs a glass and fills it with tap water. On his way into the bathroom he grabs a rag to help clean up.

Stan has his face on the open toilet rim. All happiness drained from like dripping slime. He groggily looks at Kyle then lets out some more. Kyle sits down next to his tired boyfriend. “Here” He hands him the glass of water. The smaller boy shakingly takes the glass and takes a sip. Kyle helps him take off his shirt and gives him the rag to clean his face up a bit. He gets up to go get some more loose clothes for his boyfriend to sleep in. His sleepy bf has other plans and flops on their big bed. He rolls his eyes and gets a small garbage can from the kitchen and sets it next to the blue side of the bed. 

Kyle shuts their door and goes to the balcony to get some more air and destress before going back to his laptop. His phone rings Va Va Voom by Nicki Minaj, and he is instantly confused. It takes him a few seconds to see who it’s from. None other than Bebe is calling and he quickly remembers what he made, that her ringtone. He answers with a sigh. “Hello, local mom here to not pick you up from the party. Please hang up if that is what you want”

“Shut up! I would have asked you to bring me home when you were here if I wanted to go home!” distant Loud music and people singing comes from the other end. 

“So what does the sweet Bebe need from my red ass at 5 am?” He slily leans on the railing feeling all types of smug.

“I wanted to know if Stan was ok. He wasn’t responding to any of my calls.”

“Oh I see it now. You are trying to get to my boyfriend because I turned you down last year! It all makes sense now!!”

“Kyle if I wanted to get into your boyfriend’s pants for revenge I would have by now.”

“Oh really? Wanna bet on that?”

“Kyle! Can you shut the fuck up and answer her question! Oh my fucking god!” Clyde shouts from next to her. There is silence from both ends until Kyle gives up and answers.

“He is sleeping right now. He puked a little right when we got home. Other than that he is ok.”

“Thank god!”

“So what is that new drug you gave to him huh?” Kyle’s words come out more salty than intended but still gets the point across. 

“It's nothing Kyle, don't worry about it.”

“If it is nothing then tell me what it is.”

“They are just edibles with additives I got from one of Token's dealers.”

“What type of additives because he seemed a little bit mo-”

“He was also drinking. You know how he gets when he drinks.”

With a tisk Kyle responds with a sharp “Whatever. Is that all?”

“I wish we could just have a normal convo without you being all defensive all the time.”

“Ha! You know that will never happen Bebe. Fuck you” He hangs up feeling bitter with himself. He has always wished that he wasn’t so rude to her. He had been flirting with her from most of their last year of school. He was only doing it to cope with his overwhelming love for his best friend. It was his way of letting things out that he wanted to tell Stan but didn’t want to keep in. Everyone always pushed them to hang out more. Kyle never took the step because he didn’t like her in that way. Turning down every time she would ask him to hang out alone. When senior prom came around everyone would none stop tell him he should ask her out to prom and blah blah blah. He never wanted that, and never did. He asked Stan to be his date to prom the day before. Stan was confused because they had made plans to not go and hang out. But he nevertheless agreed. Going to that dance was one the happiest anyone has ever seen them. 

Bebe was broke. Kyle had hurt her and left her like a worm on a string. He never intended to hate her. Everyone started talking shit about him afterward causing him to be paranoid. Over time the two made up. Kyle said he was sorry and explained what he was doing. Bebe forgiving him and telling him how she felt, and how she had moved on. He has only recently started to be aggressive with her. Right after Kenny, Clyde, Wednesday and him started their secret thing, she started being annoying. She knows what their secret thing is and helps them out from time to time. But there is never one bit of breathing room when she goes off about whatever she is thinking.

A small sigh leaves Kyles lips as he sees the rising sun over the buildings of South Park. It's time to get some sleep. That phone call put him off. The red-haired boy walks back in and locks his balcony door. He shuts his laptop and walks back into their shared room to change and sleep. Right before he plugs his phone into charge a text of Stan pops up. With a confused look, he opens it revealing a text from Stan that says

SM [You have 5 minutes to respond or I am chucking this phone.]

He repays to the random person with

KB [Who is this?]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we have a question...
> 
> Stay with Kyle or See who is on the other end or See what Craig is doing??  
> Your vote will decide the next update and where the story goes!


End file.
